Snow snow lovely snow

UK SNOW CAUSES MELTDOWN OF UK BRAIN CELLS IN HAMPSHIRE!


Now I know it's been nearly 20 years since Britain experienced real snow, but really, are we now a nation of snow muppets? Wear the plastic bags between layers of socks INSIDE your sturdy,grippy boots you bloody idiot whoever you are,you cretin,moron tithead!

The aim of the plastic bags is to insulate by trapping air and to keep feet dry and warm,trust me I did it for years.What's the point of covering a shoe and its tread pattern with a slippy plastic bag you Hampshire numpty?



Ah well, I suppose it takes all sorts of fools and idiots to make the world go round, but really the rest of us need warning next time these fools and idiots venture out.

And another thing,you're letting the side down and you're letting Britain down,I mean if you're gonna wear bags can't you at least get matching ones? I think one of the bags says "Boots" too, ha ha if you meant it!

Anyway, before I go off to celebrate our first major snowfall in 20yrs by rolling about semi naked in the snow, albeit it with a plastic bag on my knob, because Hampshire plastic bag person,I'm not totally stupid,here are some Idiot T shirts for the idiot in your life.

Men Idiots - Transparent by Spice
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Not All Men are Fools. Some are Bachelors. by chitchatshirts
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Funny Kenyan village idiot anti Obama by NOBAMAMAN
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Oh,one final thing, if you're going out and about in the snow with little slobberchops or whatever else you call your dog/bitch, please remember they too get cold. We advise you don't put them in plastic bags like the idiot from Hampshire but you dress them in a nice warm coat complete with funny slogan.

Warning Mutley by Doggyfashion
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UK Snow,one of the worst UK winters ever?

UK SNOWFALL,ONE OF THE WOST UK WINTERS OF THE LAST 100 YRS

UK snow yesterday and to-day could signal one of the worst winters the UK has ever experienced.

One alarming scenario concerns the UK's ability to keep warm during the current cold snap.With a much reduced UK coal industry and a dependency on foreign fuel could Britain be facing a gas crisis? The gas crisis has hit the country and the National grid has warned the British people to use less gas, the PM Gordon Brown,however, denied that the country is facing a gas supply crisis. There is some news regarding the gas crisis in Britain,some have projected that if current usage level is maintained then UK has 8 days of gas storage remaining! Plenty of gas here though... of the methane variety,a raw egg in my Guinness last night the culprit.

Anti Gordon Brown men's by LIMEYBOY
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Bollocks to Brown by LIMEYBOY
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Do you trust Brown and his politcal cronies? Will Thatcher's destruction of the UK coal industry come back to bite us on our frozen arse in 2010? Oh well maybe we should take our minds of the heavy UK snowfall and start making funny snow sculptures or rude snowmen and snow women like these.



YOU THINK THE UK'S GOT SNOW!

In Seoul, a blizzard dumped more than 10in (25cm) of snow today – the greatest snowfall since Korea began conducting meteorological surveys in 1937.

Gimpo International airport, west of the capital, cancelled 224 flights before resuming service in the afternoon. More than 20 flights between Incheon International airport, south-west of Seoul, and cities in China were also cancelled and another 100 to other regions were delayed.

In Beijing, authorities mobilised more than 300,000 people to clear the streets after Sunday's blizzard dumped 3in (8cm) of snow – the most in the capital in a single day in January since 1951.

A wholesale market in Beijing told state media the prices of several vegetables had risen by 10-50% because of transport problems. There were also concerns that the weather could destroy crops and cause other economic damage.

Officials will also be concerned about the strain the cold weather will place on China's gas and oil supplies. The country has experienced gas shortages in the last two months as demand rose because of the unusually cold weather. More snow is expected this week.

Mao - Communism is #1 by strk3
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On this day in history

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY SPUTNIK 1 BURNS UP

Sputnik 1 burned up on 4 January 1958, as it fell from orbit upon re entering Earth's atmosphere, after travelling about 37 million miles (60 million km ) and spending 3 months in orbit.

Major contractors OKB 1, Soviet Ministry of Radiotechnical Industry
Mission type Atmospheric studies
Satellite of Earth
Orbits 1,440
Launch date 19:28:34, October 4, 1957 (UTC) (1957-10-04T19:28:34Z) (22:28:34 MSK)
Launch vehicle Sputnik Rocket
Sputnik Mission duration 3 months
Sputnik Orbital decay 4 January 1958
COSPAR ID 1957-001B
Mass 83.6 kg (184.3 lb)

Sputnik by proartshirts
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CCCP by magarmor
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Dyslexics, they're fcuking everywhere

Is it me or are there more kids,adults even fcucking dogs who now class themselves as Dyslexic?

Funny Dyslexic by Cardsharkkid
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When I was a kid if you couldn't spell you were either thick, or more probably,too lazy to learn how to spell. We had spelling tests almost daily when I was a nipper and trouble if you fucked up! Now I get emails from folk who've a masters degree and spellchecker, with spellung mistakes which make my hare kurl!

In the good old days if you couldn't spell you didn't get the qualification,it worries me now that you could become a GP and have shitty spelling,ooh matron the consequences! Ah the good olde days,oh well abscess makes the heart grow fonder.

Offensive dyslexic by LIMEYBOY
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New Year 2010 diets for New Year 2010 dieters

NEW YEAR,A NEW YOU,THEN DO YOU NEED A NEW DIET OR JUST THESE T SHIRTS?

If you're a man and can't be arsed with starting a diet in 2010 maybe these are the answer from Marks and Spencer



Marks & Spencer are launching a range called Bodymax, which will help men to hide their bulges and show off a slimmer silhouette.

Its first ever range of shapewear for males is designed to flatten and shape the torso using shaped seams and a hidden support panel.

M & S said trials conducted on the range reported a reduction in waist measurements of up to 1.5in.

Made from fine stretch cotton, the range comprises a vest and T shirt style and is available in black or white, a Marks and Spencer spokesman said.

Priced at £12 for the vest and £15 for the T shirt, the range will be available in 70M and S stores for fat men, nationwide and online from January 7.

Read more:

However,what should the fat man in your life wear over his fat belly in 2010, if he's choosing not to diet? How about these funny fat joke T shirts from Zazzle which not only promote the need for fatties to diet in 2010,but also the fact that if you don't diet in 2010 you may die before the skinny bloke you're trekking with!

Offensive fat joke by Cardsharkkid
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Stop Youth Obesity T-Shirt by DeluxeWear
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Big cock by Cardsharkkid
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Oh,whilst we're on the subject of dieting in 2010,don't forget your fat dog or fat wife could also benefit from shedding a few pounds with a diet in 2010!

Pier 39 Sea Lions vanish-San Franscisco earthquake coming

WHY HAVE THE SEA LIONS ON SAN FRANCISCO'S PIER 39 GONE?


The sea lions of Pier 39, one of San Francisco’s smelliest and most famous tourist attractions, are gone. During the last week of November 2009, they left the wooden docks on which they’ve spent the last 20 years and no one knows if they’ll be coming back.

“We've no idea where they moved on to or why,” said Shelbi Stoudt, who manages a team that helps stranded animals in the San Francisco Bay from the Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito, California.

The sea lions’ sudden disappearance is as strange as their initial colonization of the pier about 20 years ago, in late 1989. They just started showing up one day and as their numbers increased, their traditional hang out, Seal Rocks, became less populated. There are all sorts of theories about why the pier became a favorite haul-out spot for the sea lions, but no one knows for sure why the animals’ behavior has changed.

The Trobriand Islanders believe that sea lions will abandon an area exactly 14 days before there occurs a major earthquake or tsunami. Scientists at the Scripps Institute have verified that the common sea lion, or mares felix, can indeed sense the subtle vibratory shift in the earth's volatile plasma, up to a month before the largest and most deadly quakes.

San Francisco and Pier 39 Stamp by mlewallpapers
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A search in the Tokyo Hall of Antiquities records the mysterious departure of creatures called "ko-tai," whose description matches the modern day animal we call the sea lion, "one-and-a-half moons", or two weeks, before the 320 AD earthquake that leveled Mt. Fuji's sister peak, and brought about the catastrophic subsidence that formed Tokyo Bay.

Further research showns that the Mississippi seal, once common in the area of New Madrid and Memphis (Fernando De Soto refers to "numerous colonies of seals on both side of the great river, providing nourishment for several tribes hereabouts"), virtually disappeared shortly before the great quake of 1814 -- and never returned.

Their disappearance drew the attention of San Franciscans like local blogger Gary Soup, who posted photos of the deserted docks on Twitter. The animals had become a major tourist and education locus on the otherwise highly commercial strip known as Fisherman’s Wharf.

It doesn’t appear that local weather conditions could have influenced the animals. The weather in San Francisco has been normal, according to National Weather Service meteorologist Rick Canaepa. “It’s pretty typical winter conditions,” Canaepa said.

The Patient Polar Bear by stlewis75
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This is an El Niño year, but the local impacts of that warming of the Pacific have been moderate. “I don’t know if that would be enough to make them change their minds and leave the area,” he said.

RUN TO THE HILLS!

pier 39 by cardart
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Star Wars makes me laugh

Ok, so I'm not the world's biggest Star Wars fan but I do admire all the funny Star Wars stuff that's available for Star Wars fans and non Star Wars fans out there on the net. Like this funny darkside Star Wars mousepad for example.

Come to the dark side spoof by Cardsharkkid
Browse all other mousemats at zazzle

Or how's about that cool Darth Vader T shirt for your dad on Father's Day or for his birthday just to let him know that he's a great dad but the world's greatest dad is non other than Star Wars' Darth Vader!!

Darth Vader: World's Best Dad by starwars
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Or if the thought of Star Wars, and the inhabitants of all the planets in Star Wars,doing a bit of recycling these make for a funny Star Wars birthday card

Recycling. It's not just for Jawas by starwars
cards made on Zazzle

Oh well here's a few Star Wars jokes and funny Star Wrs pics to cheer you up, will help if you've watched Star Wars though.

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinise restaurant and Luke's having trouble.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."

Go get em Tiger,get in the hole Tiger

Tiger Woods' mom has hit out at her son, saying she is 'angry and disappointed' with him, according to family friends.
However, Kultida Woods has vowed to stand by her 33-year-old son, despite being 'furious' over his infidelity.

Funny golfing by Cardsharkkid
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'She wants to know how he could do this to his family.'
'She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this.'
'It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren.

Woods' father, Earl Woods, who died from prostate cancer a couple of years ago, was allegedly unfaithful to Thai-born Kultida several years ago.
The golfer was said to have been 'devastated' when he learned of his father's infidelity.

Tiger Woods - Go Get 'em Tiger! by pandashirts
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Kultida's anger comes as Elin Woods prepares for divorce and a custody battle over her and Woods' two young children, Sam, two, and Charlie, ten months.
Woods is thought to have cheated on Elin with up to 14 mistresses.

It is reported that Elin will instruct lawyer, legendary Hollywood divorce specialist Sorrell Trope, to fight for half of Woods' £340million fortune along with full custody of the children.
However, legal experts told the Sunday Mirror Elin is unlikely to win full custody as Woods' home state of Florida is 'daddy-friendly' and his serial cheating would not count unless Elin can prove his behaviour made him 'a detriment' to his children.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1237285/Tiger-Woods-mother-angry-disappointed-sons-infidelity.html#ixzz0aFvHF2Rs

TIGER LOVES PUSSY by pantsdownshirtscom
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Recent photos of Tiger seem to suggest that if his house is "dad frindly" somebody else isn't!

Political correctness gone mad

Santa Claus is a public health hazard – promoting obesity and drink-driving, says Australian "expert".


Images of a fat, jolly and somewhat drunk Father Christmas send out the wrong message and could damage millions of lives.WTF

Instead of sitting back in his sleigh and breaking the speed limit, Santa should get off and walk or jog, the Aussies say.

Fat Santa also needs to swap the brandy and mince pies left out by children for carrots and celery sticks stolen from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Dr Nathan Grills and illustrator Brendan Halyday, from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, said the image of Santa Claus promotes obesity, drink-driving, speeding and a general unhealthy lifestyle.WTF Bah humbug

Santa's universal fame means he is used by companies around the globe to sell all kinds of products, including unhealthy foods, they went on, had they been on the 4x I wonder?

For example, there is very high awareness of Santa Claus among young children (You don't fuckin say,well I fucking would never have guesed that bit) – higher than the McDonald's fictional character, Ronald McDonald.

"Among American schoolchildren Santa Claus was the only fictional character more highly recognised than Ronald McDonald.

"If Ronald McDonald can be so effective at selling burgers to children, we might expect Santa Claus to be equally effective at selling other goods."

Dangerous activities Santa could be accused of promoting include speeding, disregard for road rules, and extreme sports such as roof surfing and chimney jumping – and he never wears a seat belt.

Funny bollocks Christmas by Cardsharkkid
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The authors conclude there is a need for Santa to undergo an image overhaul – one that promotes healthy living.

"We need to be aware that Santa has an ability to influence people, and especially children, towards unhealthy behaviour," they said.

What next you idiots ban the tooth fairy for encouraging kids to be greedy,or maybe the tooth fairy could influence kids into removing their friends teeth for profit!

Funny Christmas cards,offensive Christmas cards to brighten any Christmas

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Funny Beer T-shirts for funny Beer drinkers

Are you a beer drinker who likes funny Beer T-shirts? You are,great then here's a selection of funny Beer T-shirts for you to wear as you get drunk on your fav beer

Funny Beer by Cardsharkkid
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OK,so this isn't a beer T-shirt but New Orleans is famous for it's bourbon and this funny Hurricane Katrina shirts meets New Orleans shirt made me laugh.

I survived Hurricane KATRINA by dman71215
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One more Beer T-shirt for luck,Irish luck,and it features the mother of all beers in my opinion,the mighty Irish Guinness.If you see Guinness as a food source these funny cool design Guinness T-shirts are the ones for you,slainte!

Vitamin Guiness by thEARy
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The Ashes 2009

Here's an English cricket T-shirt for all fans of England and English cricket;this is an ideal England cricket T-shirt for members of the Barmy Army as they follow England during the 2009 Ashes series against Australia.

Barmy Army England Ashes 2009 by LIMEYBOY
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THE ASHES AND THEY'RE ORIGIN.

The term 'Ashes' was first used after England lost to Australia, for the first time on home soil at The Oval cricket ground on August 29th,1882. One day later, the Sporting Times produced a mock obituary to English cricket which concluded that: "The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia". The concept caught the imagination of the sporting public. A few weeks later, an English team, captained by the Hon.Ivo Bligh [later Lord Darnley], set off to tour Australia, with Bligh vowing to return with "the ashes"; WL Murdoch,his Australian counterpart, at the same time vowed to defend them,and so the contest known as "the ashes" was born.

As well as playing 3 scheduled matches against the Australian national side, Bligh and the amateur players in his team participated in many social matches. It was after one such match, at the Rupertswood Estate outside Melbourne on Christmas Eve 1882, that Bligh was given the small terracotta urn as a symbol of the ashes that he had travelled to Australia to regain. On the same occasion, he met his future wife, Florence Morphy .

In February 1884, Bligh married Florence. Shortly afterwards, they returned to England, taking the urn, which Bligh always regarded as a personal gift ,with them. It stayed on the mantelpiece at the Bligh family home, Cobham Hall, near Rochester in Kent, until Bligh died, 43 years later. At the request of Bligh, Florence bequeathed the urn to MCC. Today, the tiny, delicate and irreplaceable artefact resides in the MCC Museum at Lord's.

In the 1990s, recognising the two teams' desire to compete for an actual trophy, MCC commissioned, after discussions with the England & Wales Cricket Board (ECB) and Cricket Australia,an urn-shaped Waterford Crystal trophy.

This was first presented to Mark Taylor after his Australian side emerged triumphant in the 1998-99 Test series against England. Since then, the trophy has been presented to the winning captain at the end of each Test series between Australia and England.Since 1998,only once, in 2005, has it been presented to an English captain, Michael Vaughan. Most recently, it was presented to Ricky Ponting after his Australian side's 5-0 victory over England in the 2006-07 Ashes series.

Obama the butt kisser

So.do you think Obama's been kissing the butts of politicians like Putin recently? If you're anti Obama in your views these anti Obama bumper stickers and T-shirts are for you.

Anti Obama,butt kisser Obama by NOBAMAMAN
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Anti Obama,butt kisser Obama by NOBAMAMAN
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And how's this for a cool anti Obama,anti Socialism T-shirt

Socialists: Spreading the Wealth by Libertymaniacs
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And here's another anti Obama,anti socialism bumper sticker for all right wing Americans

Obamanomics Bumper Sticker by monkeyclown
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USMC Shirts

If you're the proud parent of a US Marine here's a USMC T-shirt to advertise the fact

Don't mess with me I raised a Marine - aqua by militarymarinecorps
Buy a t-shirt online from Zazzle.com

And here are some more cool US Marines themed T-shirts for you to enjoy,Semper Fi

Funny slogan USMC sniper theme by SEVETHEAPEMAN
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And on the Eighth Day, God created, MARINES by Daekar
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Land of the free home of the brave by SEVETHEAPEMAN
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Now not a lot of people know this,but the mighty US Marines were founded on Nov 10th 1775,and as a humorous tribute here's a funny USMC T-shirt;check out the squirrel manning,or shoudld that be squirreling the machine gun on the M1 Abrams MBT.

1775 USMC by SEVETHEAPEMAN
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Birth of the U.S. Marine Corps-Nov 10th 1775

During the American Revolution, the Congress passes a resolution stating that "two Battalions of Marines be raised" for service as landing forces for the recently formed Continental Navy. The resolution, drafted by the soon to be U.S. president John Adams and adopted in Philadelphia, created the Continental Marines and is now observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps,aka the USMC

Serving America on both land and at sea, the original USMC distinguished themselves in a number of important operations during the Revolutionary War. The first Marine landing on a hostile shore occurred when a force of Marines under Captain Samuel Nicholas captured New Province Island in the Bahamas from the British in March 1776. Nicholas was the first commissioned officer in the Continental Marines and is celebrated as the first Marine commandant. After American independence was achieved in 1783, the Continental Navy was demobilized and its Marines disbanded.

In the next decade, however, increasing conflict at sea with Revolutionary France led the U.S. Congress to establish formally the U.S. Navy in May 1798. Two months later, on July 11, President John Adams signed the bill establishing the U.S. Marine Corps as a permanent military force under the jurisdiction of the Department of Navy. U.S. Marines saw action in the so-called Quasi-War with France and then fought against the Barbary pirates of North Africa during the first years of the 19th century. Since then, Marines have participated in all the wars of the United States and in most cases were the first soldiers to fight. In all, Marines have executed more than 300 landings on foreign shores.

Today, more than 200,000 active-duty and reserve Marines, divided into three divisions stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina; Camp Pendleton, California; and Okinawa, Japan.US Marines expeditionary units are self-sufficient, with their own tanks, artillery, and air forces. The motto of the USMC Devil Dogs is Semper Fidelis, which in Latin means,"always faithful"