The Ashes 2009

Here's an English cricket T-shirt for all fans of England and English cricket;this is an ideal England cricket T-shirt for members of the Barmy Army as they follow England during the 2009 Ashes series against Australia.

Barmy Army England Ashes 2009 by LIMEYBOY
Make Custom TShirts at zazzle

THE ASHES AND THEY'RE ORIGIN.

The term 'Ashes' was first used after England lost to Australia, for the first time on home soil at The Oval cricket ground on August 29th,1882. One day later, the Sporting Times produced a mock obituary to English cricket which concluded that: "The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia". The concept caught the imagination of the sporting public. A few weeks later, an English team, captained by the Hon.Ivo Bligh [later Lord Darnley], set off to tour Australia, with Bligh vowing to return with "the ashes"; WL Murdoch,his Australian counterpart, at the same time vowed to defend them,and so the contest known as "the ashes" was born.

As well as playing 3 scheduled matches against the Australian national side, Bligh and the amateur players in his team participated in many social matches. It was after one such match, at the Rupertswood Estate outside Melbourne on Christmas Eve 1882, that Bligh was given the small terracotta urn as a symbol of the ashes that he had travelled to Australia to regain. On the same occasion, he met his future wife, Florence Morphy .

In February 1884, Bligh married Florence. Shortly afterwards, they returned to England, taking the urn, which Bligh always regarded as a personal gift ,with them. It stayed on the mantelpiece at the Bligh family home, Cobham Hall, near Rochester in Kent, until Bligh died, 43 years later. At the request of Bligh, Florence bequeathed the urn to MCC. Today, the tiny, delicate and irreplaceable artefact resides in the MCC Museum at Lord's.

In the 1990s, recognising the two teams' desire to compete for an actual trophy, MCC commissioned, after discussions with the England & Wales Cricket Board (ECB) and Cricket Australia,an urn-shaped Waterford Crystal trophy.

This was first presented to Mark Taylor after his Australian side emerged triumphant in the 1998-99 Test series against England. Since then, the trophy has been presented to the winning captain at the end of each Test series between Australia and England.Since 1998,only once, in 2005, has it been presented to an English captain, Michael Vaughan. Most recently, it was presented to Ricky Ponting after his Australian side's 5-0 victory over England in the 2006-07 Ashes series.

Obama the butt kisser

So.do you think Obama's been kissing the butts of politicians like Putin recently? If you're anti Obama in your views these anti Obama bumper stickers and T-shirts are for you.

Anti Obama,butt kisser Obama by NOBAMAMAN
View other bumper sticker designs at www.zazzle.com

Anti Obama,butt kisser Obama by NOBAMAMAN
See more Right wing gear T-Shirts

And how's this for a cool anti Obama,anti Socialism T-shirt

Socialists: Spreading the Wealth by Libertymaniacs
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And here's another anti Obama,anti socialism bumper sticker for all right wing Americans

Obamanomics Bumper Sticker by monkeyclown
See more Change Bumper Stickers

USMC Shirts

If you're the proud parent of a US Marine here's a USMC T-shirt to advertise the fact

Don't mess with me I raised a Marine - aqua by militarymarinecorps
Buy a t-shirt online from Zazzle.com

And here are some more cool US Marines themed T-shirts for you to enjoy,Semper Fi

Funny slogan USMC sniper theme by SEVETHEAPEMAN
More Usmc T-Shirts

And on the Eighth Day, God created, MARINES by Daekar
More Marines T-Shirts

Land of the free home of the brave by SEVETHEAPEMAN
Make a Customized Tee Shirt online at zazzle.com.au

Now not a lot of people know this,but the mighty US Marines were founded on Nov 10th 1775,and as a humorous tribute here's a funny USMC T-shirt;check out the squirrel manning,or shoudld that be squirreling the machine gun on the M1 Abrams MBT.

1775 USMC by SEVETHEAPEMAN
See other Usmc T-Shirts

Birth of the U.S. Marine Corps-Nov 10th 1775

During the American Revolution, the Congress passes a resolution stating that "two Battalions of Marines be raised" for service as landing forces for the recently formed Continental Navy. The resolution, drafted by the soon to be U.S. president John Adams and adopted in Philadelphia, created the Continental Marines and is now observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps,aka the USMC

Serving America on both land and at sea, the original USMC distinguished themselves in a number of important operations during the Revolutionary War. The first Marine landing on a hostile shore occurred when a force of Marines under Captain Samuel Nicholas captured New Province Island in the Bahamas from the British in March 1776. Nicholas was the first commissioned officer in the Continental Marines and is celebrated as the first Marine commandant. After American independence was achieved in 1783, the Continental Navy was demobilized and its Marines disbanded.

In the next decade, however, increasing conflict at sea with Revolutionary France led the U.S. Congress to establish formally the U.S. Navy in May 1798. Two months later, on July 11, President John Adams signed the bill establishing the U.S. Marine Corps as a permanent military force under the jurisdiction of the Department of Navy. U.S. Marines saw action in the so-called Quasi-War with France and then fought against the Barbary pirates of North Africa during the first years of the 19th century. Since then, Marines have participated in all the wars of the United States and in most cases were the first soldiers to fight. In all, Marines have executed more than 300 landings on foreign shores.

Today, more than 200,000 active-duty and reserve Marines, divided into three divisions stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina; Camp Pendleton, California; and Okinawa, Japan.US Marines expeditionary units are self-sufficient, with their own tanks, artillery, and air forces. The motto of the USMC Devil Dogs is Semper Fidelis, which in Latin means,"always faithful"

Funny Bears T-Shirts

If you go down to the woods to-day you're in for a big surpise,so this is what Goldilocks really got upto with the 3 bears

This one's just right by strudy5580
View other Beer T-Shirts

For those who carve the real story of Goldilocks here it is,ain't I good to you!

The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

"This porridge is too cold," she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she'd eaten the three bears' breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

"This chair is too big, too!" she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" cried the Baby bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," cried the Baby bear.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear.

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Help!" And she jumped up and ran out of the room. Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And she never returned to the home of the three bears.

THE END


Ok,now you've read that do still think all Bears are nice? Well think again,some bears are Gangsters and some are godless killing machines.Don't believe me here's the proof

Gangster Bear Poster by stlewis75
Browse other Prints posters on Zazzle

That Gangster Bear reminds me of somebody but who?

bears godless killing machines humor funny tshirt by strk3
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Funny animal story of the day-Wallabies getting stoned!

Wild Australian wallabies are eating large amounts of opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "spaced out and as high as a kite", an Australian government official has said.

Lara Giddings,Tasmania's attorney general, said the wallabies were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

A spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals including lizards,rabbits and snakes had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," he added.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1195417/Stoned-opium-munching-wallabies-create-crop-circles-crashing-poppy-fields.html

Australia t-shirts by Foozyo
Many more tshirt designs available on zazzle.com

Mushrooms t-shirts by Foozyo
See more Mushroom T-Shirts

Peace T Shirts from Zazzle

Are you a peace loving pacifist,hippie or merely a lover of peace? If you prefer peace to war and want to promote world peace then these peace symbol design products from Zazzle are the way to go.Promote peace in style with some of these cool,peace sign T-Shirts,peace symbol badges and other peace themed gifts.


How about one cool,awesome peace themed skateboard for starters? This cool peace themed skateboard from Zazzle678 is one of Zazzle's bestsellers on skateboards.

peace by zazzle678
See other Skateboreds Skateboards

Or maybe you fancy a peace T-shirt which advocates peace by demanding we stop "global warring!" Help stop war,global war by wearing one of these cool anti-war T-shirts from Zazzle.

Stop War-Peace sign by Femfatal
Get a shirt at zazzle

T Shirt of the day-day 1

know I chose this "the ceiling cat is watching you" T Shirt possibly beacuse Ile,my monster moggy is currently sitting atop the wardrobe watching me type this.Don't know whether these people created the ceiling cat T Shirt but this is where I found it anyway.

Oh,in case you wonder why I call my ceiling cat Ile,think 1970's tennis! More will be revealed about Ile the ceiling cat later.

Ceiling Cat is Watching YOU! by obeythepurebreed
View other Cat T-Shirts

Ailurophilia is the "love of cats."

In 1952, a Texas Tabby named Dusty set the record by having more than 420 kittens before having her last litter at age 18.

One of the weirdest cat on record was an Argentinian female called Mincho who went up a tree in Argentina and didn't come down again until she died six years later. While stuck up a tree, three Tom's became stuck up her and she managed to have three litters with equally ambitious dads!

Funny anti Obama T shirts and pro Obama Tees from Zazzle

Now I'm neither pro Obama nor anti Obama since I'm not American but I do like all the pro Obama T Shirts and anti Obama shirts to be found out there in cyberspace.

This anti Obama T Shirt plays on the "honk if I'm paying your mortgage" slogan in a rather rude and amusing way!

Funny,rude anti Obama by BIGNUMPT
t-shirts made by
www.Zazzle.com

I like this anti Obama T Shirt too,I like it's wacky humour and humorous Obama imagery.It's anti Obama in a nice sort of way,if Obama in a Cannibals cooking pot's nice that is! I mean it doesn't say fuck Obama or Obama's a c*nt does it now!

Funny anti Obama cannibals T Shirts by BIGNUMPT
Design Custom Tee Shirts on Zazzle

Now there are quite a few comrade Obama anti Obama shirts out there but I just like the artwork in this one,neat anti Obama design for all you anti commie,anti communist anti liberal folks out there!

Comrade Obama T-Shirt by Libertymaniacs
t-shirts made by www.zazzle.com

Now this anti Obama T-Shirt's for anyone who sees Obama as a spineless surrender monkey and a president who will not stand up for America and is not a true American patriot.

Nobama surrender anti Obama by NOBAMAMAN
Browse Nobama T-Shirts

So here's a few pro Obama T shirts to kind of balance the pro Obama v anti Obama standpoints.The first pro Obama Tshirt is Obama the rasta with the colours of the rasta flag forming a truly distinctive and awesome pro Obama shirt.

Barack Obama Rasta 3-Color Stencil by StencilCrew
Get a tee at zazzle.com

The next pro Obama shirt's an Obama T Shirt which portrays Obama as an American,which a lot of those who dislike him,think he's not.

Barack Obama Signature T-Shirt by JayBakkerShirts
See more Obama T-Shirts

Offensive to fat people,anti fat T shirts

Are you thin do you think fat people are lazy? Are you nasty to fat people and obese persons? Do you think fat people and obese people are a burden on society? If you've answered yes to any of these questions you're probably thin,skinny and anti fat in your approach to life and people.

Well maybe you should think again and review your anti fat attitude,especailly if your the outdoor type and a fan of hiking,tekking or camping in Grizzly Bear country.Take a look at these hilarious T shirts with their politically incorrect image and slogan,these politically incorrect T Shirts will offend fat and obese persons wherever they're wobbling about!

Offensive fat joke by Cardsharkkid
Design Custom T-Shirts on www.Zazzle.com

Another T shirt which is the ideal gift for any fatties attempting to diet,especially if the fat person is on the Atkins diet.These funny diet T shirts should raise a smile down at weightwatchers,fat club or if the fatties are taking part in America's biggest loser competition!

1000 Atkins by jcrowtherart
Browse more Religion T-Shirts

A version of the above offensive to fatties,funny fat person T Shirt's on Birthdaay cards and Father's Day cards too,take a look here-

Politically incorrect birthday by Cardsharkkid
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Panda's love Bamboo or do they?

Well we all know the Giant Panda loves it's Bamboo or does it? Maybe the endangered Giant Panda fancies something else,maybe it fancies Barack Obama? So do 8 out of 10 Pandas prefer Bamboo or Obama? You decide,either way these Panda T Shirts are on sale at Zazzle UK now.

Pro Obama by LIMEYBOY
design your own tee shirts on www.Zazzle.com

Another thing that Panda's love to do is have sex,fuck,shag whatever you want to call it,problem is they're not very good at it that's why they're endangered. Well that's my theory anyway,forget the bollocks about only one baby per birth and poor diet,they're just shit shaggers,end of!

Panda Fuck Shirt by romeotees
Browse Panda T-Shirts

On the subject of Panda sex here's another funny Panda shirt with a funny Panda extinction theme for anyone who wants to save the Giant Panda from extinction.Wear your funny Panda Tees with pride and help stop China's Giant Panda from becoming extinct

Funny save the Panda by Femfatal
Browse other Save the panda T-Shirts

On a more serious note here's an article written by Abigail Fritz which highlights the plight of the Giant Panda,interesting reading

The Giant Panda Paradigm
Abigail Fritz

The Giant Panda is a creature of mystery. Adults and children alike appreciate it for its cute, fuzzy, lovable qualities, but it is an animal that is in desperate need of immediate attention. Scientists know the basics: how and what they eat, where and how they live, and how they reproduce. The fact remains, however, that this universally loved national symbol of China is facing the threat of extinction. What accounts for this fact and what can be or is being done to protect the panda from such a fate? This paper will discuss the characteristics and lifestyle of the panda as well as issues and questions that arise as a result of the threat of their extinction.

Pandas have made their homes in China for centuries; but because of increased development and forest clearing in the lowlands, they have been forced further and further into the mountain ranges over the years ((1)). They inhabit damp forests in those mountains that border on land that farmers increasingly wish to use ((6)). These forests have a dense understory of bamboo and are characterized by heavy rains and dense mist ((1)).

One problem facing pandas is their seeming difficulty in mating successfully. Females have a low frequency of ovulation (once a year in the spring) and the males demonstrate an infamous apathy toward females in heat ((2)). When mating is successful, the female giant panda will give birth, after 96 to 160 days, to a cub that is one-nine hundredth the size of her ((1)). Cubs open their eyes after six to eight weeks, nurse for about nine months, and stay with their mothers for up to three years before venturing out on their own ((1)).

Giant Pandas enjoy a simple lifestyle of sleeping, looking for food, and eating. The monotonous activity seems to be largely due to the amount of food that they must consume: twenty to forty pounds of bamboo daily ((6)). Pandas have inefficient digestive systems, and must therefore spend more than ten hours a day eating the amount of food needed for necessary nutrients ((1)). While their dental structures have adapted to the bamboo diet their digestive systems remain closer to those of carnivores ((6)). This results in a low percentage of food digestion in comparison to the amount that it actually ingests ((6)).

The Giant Panda is currently threatened in a number of ways. The first threats are to their food sources. The Bamboo Rat is a minor, but existent problem that feeds on bamboo roots, killing plants on an individual level ((6)). Bamboo also undergoes phases of growing and then dying as part of the renewal cycle ((7)). This process is not a problem in itself, except for the fact that whereas the pandas might move to a different location to feed, they are running out of places to move because of the expansions of farmland and increased forest clearing ((7)).

The greatest threat of all to the Giant Panda is man. The abovementioned land clearing for farms, residential and commercial areas coupled with prowling poachers are the two most serious threats to the panda and its habitat ((3)). Efforts to set up reserves for the pandas have sparked conflicts with locals. When a reserve is established, people are often not compensated for the loss of land that they have used for years, and they are tempted to continue to use the land illegally ((3)). Their continued use of the land defeats the whole purpose of having a reserve.

China must somehow find a balance between conservation and development. The threat of the Giant Panda's extinction is a serious reality. It is estimated that there are about one thousand left in the wild; another one hundred forty live in zoos and breeding centers in China and a few other countries ((1)). Breeding pandas in captivity has proven to be a difficult task ((7)). Although it is a help to be able to observe these private animals in order to perhaps better understand how we can help them in the wild, the most pressing concern is that their habitats in the wild be saved and sustained.

The idea of cloning has arisen as one of China's desperate attempts to save the Giant Panda ((5)). Cloning raises some serious questions and concerns on both my part and the part of many experts. A small group of experts feel that the process of artificial insemination and raising pandas in the zoo for future release in the wild is not working well enough or fast enough ((4)). In 2002, China predicted that they would have their first cloned panda in the next two years ((8)). Scientists successfully placed a panda embryo in the uterus of a cat, but an article from 2003 stated that the cat died soon after ((5), (8)). Scientists have been forced to turn to surrogate mothers of different species because they have found pandas to have difficulties carrying young to term ((8)). Cloning is a touchy ethical issue, and I would hope that the experimentation would be kept to a minimum as we take the giving and taking of life into our own hands. I do not feel that enough is understood at this stage about cloning to attempt to save an entire species using this method.

There is a group of scientists who are very optimistic about the possibilities that may accompany cloning, but there are many, including myself, who are concerned that the focus of saving the Giant Panda species should be directed elsewhere. The most serious threats to their extinction, the destruction of their habitat, must be addressed. Experts opposed to cloning insist that the only way to guarantee the species' survival is if we not only solve the problem of the diminishing panda population, but also and more importantly, to find ways to guarantee the preservation of their environment by directing more attention to saving forests ((5)).

Also remember the problems within a species when it is in danger of becoming extinct. One finds a lack of diversity within the species, a lack that cloning simply could not return to the species. Animals rely on hereditary diversity in order to continue ((9)). This lack of diversity cannot be improved by the technology of cloning, even hetero-cloning, because it can only copy an already existing animal ((9)).

Another factor to consider is the question of how much we should involve ourselves in continuing any species. How much of their current endangered status is due to human interference and how much is due to the natural order of things? Many, many species have come and gone in the biological history of our world. It is true that humans are becoming more and more of an interference, but we have seen species run their courses throughout the centuries. I am not saying that I would like to see the panda population disappear by any stretch of the imagination, but I would be interested to hear what others have to say about our place in or perhaps interference with something like a "natural order."

The bottom line of all this talk of conservation is that we should concern ourselves with the preservation of the habitat of the Giant Panda. The results of other attempts at continuing the species, such as cloning, can only be temporary. Yes, we would maintain at least a small number of the species that could be seen on display in captivity, but we would not be addressing the real issue. Cloning cannot solve any of the problems that pandas face in the wild ((7)). By working to conserve their habitat, we can give the panda the best opportunity to continue on its own, apart from our direct intervention with the species itself.




References
1)Smithsonian National Zoological Park, about Giant Pandas

2)Giant Panda News and Events, Giant Panda in the News

3)WWF Endangered Species, Panda conservation

4)CBS news, Chinese to clone pandas?

5)Wiki Pandas

Offensive funny T Shirts over at Zazzle

Ok so you can take this funny banana shirt from Bigbooinc anyway you want,if you've a dirty mind then it's sexual undertones are there for all to see,what with the dollop of cream on the end of the banana! This banana T Shirt make an ideal funny gift for a man with a big banana!

Ice Cream Dream by Bigbooinc
Make personalized tshirts at Zazzle.com

Now this funny,offensive Zazzle T Shirt from Wickedpissatees.com is for any kid who fancies his best mates mum and would like to bone his best mates mom.If you're an American kid and you've boned your best mates mom these funny "tell your mom I said thanks" T Shirts are for you.

Tell your mom thanks by wickedpissatees
Shop the t-shirts section of www.Zazzle.com

Now this T Shirt's a play on the classic,cult smiley face T Shirts.Cool smiley face T shirts for anyomne who likes warped T shirts with some sick humor built into their warped design.

BULLET HOLE SMILEY FACE T-SHIRT by AngryInkTees
Many t shirt designs available at zazzle.com

What about this Confucius Zazzle shirt,this is certainly a funny slogan Confucius T Shirt

CONFUCIUS FISH by THESHIRTPILE
Get a shirt at zazzle

Funny Father's Day cards for funny father's

If you're looking for funny Father's Day cards that don't break the bank then take a look at ome of these funny Father's Day cards.Funny cartoon Father's Day cards,funny slogan Fathers Day cards and lots more Father's day cards from as little as $2.951

Funny Card by mayc00p
cards made on www.Zazzle.com

Now if you've a Father or a grandfather who sits in one of those spring loaded reclyning chairs that's got to be the funny cartoon Father's Day card to send,or what about this hilarious Father's Day greeting card?

Card for Dad by mayc00p
View more Father
Cards

What about this funny,humorous Father's Day card for any new father experiencing their newborn baby's vice like grip for the first time?

Father's Day card by mayc00p
View more Fether Cards

Is Europe becoming anti Europe?

So,the recent European elections have thrown up some interesting results with far right parties and parties representing an anti single Europe standpoint have gained seats within the European Parliament.

If you're a fan of UKIP or the BNP in Britain these anti European,anti Eurozone,anti EU T shirts are for you.

Anti European men's by LIMEYBOY
Design Custom T Shirts at zazzle.com

If you're not British,but you still don't want to be a part of the European Union and all its corruption then these anti Euro,anti EU T shirts,badges,mugs are the ones for you.If European MEP's and their expense claims make you wanna puke then you'll appreciate this funny anti European design

Anti European,pro UKIP,Europeans make me puke by LIMEYBOY
Make Custom Tee Shirts at www.zazzle.com

And finally,if you class yourself as English,not Britih how about these cool English T shirts featuring England's patron saint,St George in battle with the dragon.

St George's Day English flag by LIMEYBOY
Make Custom T Shirts at Zazzle.com

Well well well lots of change over at Cafepress so I've just uploaded my first design onto my Zazzle site.

I've 1000's of designs over at CP so it's gonna take time to upload designs to Zazzle but my first is this Homer Simpson catchphrase themed anti Obama T Shirt.


buy unique gifts at Zazzle

Anti Mexican Cinco de Mayo spoof T Shirts

Funny anti Mexican Shirts make fun of the Mexican border crossing signs in time for the Cinco de Mayo festival.

If you're after funny,offensive anti Mexican shirts to wear this Cinco de Mayo here they are


Anti Mexican Cinco de Mayo shirts

Shocking Leprechaun with his big green cock out

Well we've had the Irish boobies in time for St Patrick's Day 2009 and now we've a cheeky Leprechaun getting his big green cock out for paddy's day!

Leprechaun with a big green cock

Wanna see some Irish boobies on St Patrick's Day?

If you wanna see some Irish boobies on St Patrick's Day don one of these Irish shirts and watch those sexy Irish babes get em out for you..........possibly.

DISCLAIMER-WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT SIMPLY BY WEARING THESE IRISH T SHIRTS SEXY IRISH BABES WILL SHOW YOU THERE BOOBIES.NO REFUNDS AVAILABLE

Irish boobies T shirts,badges and mugs

Oh,just in case no sexy Irish babes get their baps out for you and just to make you feel happier......

Walkies for hours then dream of walkies,how very sad

It's a dog's life alright.You're dragged out for walkies when it's pissing down and blowing a right hooley,then you get home completely shagged out and crash out and begin your day dreams.

What happens next? Well as you're a dog and it's a dog's life, you dream,no,not of the bitch in heat next door, but of sodding walkies!


WARNING THIS MAY OFFEND DOG LOVERS WHO DON'T LIKE SEEING DOGGY PAIN

YOU TUBE DOGGY DREAMING VIDEO

Cannibals I love but I couldn't eat a whole one

Well this little snippet is dedicated to those lovely oh so friendly folk who just love to have you for dinner,quite literally,stuck in the pot with some spuds,carrots and leeks.

Cannibals are funny,witty people who've been ostracized quite simply because they love people so much they have to eat them,but how do you spot them? Well although it's tricky,sometimes very tricky it's not impossible.Ok,so it's not going to be like in the arachnid world were you just wait for mating to finish then observe as the female tucks in to her ex lover.No,you're going to need to be a little more observant to catch the human cannibal

Well,single female cannibals are the easiest to spot, especially if they're very attractive.One of the first tell tale cannibal signs is where you spot an attractive woman talking in a bar to an ugly single man.You see to cannibals sexual appearance and attractiveness counts for nothing,to a single female cannibal every single man be they ugly or handsome is an edible bachelor!

Ok,so that's the single female cannibal noted but what about married cannibals? A good place to look for married,and single cannibals for that matter is the airport,especially where holidaymakers are returning from holidays.A person returning from holiday with a healthy tan but missing a limb is quite possibly a cannibal returning from a self catering holiday!

One final tell tale sign that somebody is a cannibal can be observed at a circus.If the clowns are making you laugh but the person sitting next to you is booing them,move away quickly.It's a well known fact that cannibals hate clowns possibly because they taste funny!

Cannibal shirts

Wanking can get you into trouble but at least wanking won't make you blind

Hey kids,masturbation can get you into trouble,but DOESN'T MAKE YOU BLIND

My brain - it's my second favorite organ.
(Woody Allen Sleeper)

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I
love.
(Woody Allen Annie Hall)

My sex life is rubbish. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

I'm such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own.(Woody Allen)

Ronald Miller, 56, was arrested in Fort Wayne, Ind., in August and charged with lewdness visible to neighbors through his front window (he was nude and accessorized, police reported, with a "claw hammer" and "motor oil"). [WANE-TV (Fort Wayne), 8-5-08]

A few days earlier, in Northern Territory, Australia, motorist Brendon Erhardt, 39, was arrested for abusing both the speed limit and himself (by committing, and recording with a front-seat camera, a lewd act while driving). [Northern Territory News, 7-31-08]

In September, Chiu Yu-kit, a reporter for Hong Kong's Asia Television, resigned after admitting to a judge that, in July, he was indeed masturbating while standing atop a downtown double-decker bus. [Agence France-Presse, 9-5-08]

Rude,crude sex shirts

Obama's Irish,official Irish Obama St Patrick's Day greeting cards now on sale

Obama's Irish! Obama's roots can be traced back to Ireland and his Irish great-great-great-great grandfather Joseph Kearney

Obama's Irish,yes it's true Obama's got Irish roots
US President Barack Obama can now count himself as one of the millions of Americans with Irish heritage.

Research has traced Barack Obama's maternal family tree back to his great-great-great-great grandfather Joseph Kearney, a well-to-do shoemaker from Moneygall, Co Offaly, who lived from 1794 to 1861. Mr Obama's roots were uncovered by Canon Stephen Neill, a Church of Ireland rector, who found baptismal and marriage records in the house of a late parishioner, Elizabeth Short.

Obama's great great great grandfather Falmouth Kearney sailed to the USA from Ireland to New York in 1850 at the age of 19 on the S.S. Marmion arriving on the 20th of March.

Obama's Irish St Patrick's Day Cards

Obama's great great great grandfather Falmouth Kearney initially settled in Ohio, got married, had eight children, and later moved to Indiana, right next door to the state Obama represented in the US Senate.

Mr Keaney was part of the great American migration to escape the Irish potato famine of the 1840's.The research shows that Joseph's brother Francis had already left Ireland and bequeathed land to his sibling in America on condition that he emigrated from Ireland to inherit it.

Barack Obama's father was a goat herder from Kenya, while his mother grew up in Kansas.

Irish St.Patrick's Day shirts,jokes,videos and other Irish stuff