Tuesday 12 August 2008

THE QUEEN SHOWS HER SUPPORT


Nice to see HM The Queen and Prince Greek wearing offensive slogan anti McCann T-Shirts created by yours truly shortly after Maddie vanished.


If you want to see lots of other funny offensive T Shirts and anti McCann stuff you'll find it here http://themccanngallery.blogspot.com/
If you want to buy one of these funny offensive T-Shirts then visit the online shop BignumpteesWARNING not for the easily offended as there are lots of offensive T Shirts instore Very offensive shirts-anti Kate and Gerry McCann

Wednesday 14 May 2008

FREE TIBET FUNNY PARODY

http://www.cafepress.com/littlenumptees/5551512
Dog fleas loyal to Tibet's Dalai Lama have started to protest against the Chinese occupation of Tibet. Millions of Tibetan Fleas are planning to invade China when Beijing hosts this years Olympic games in August,with a sole aim of disrupting the games



A spokesman for the Dalai Lama refused to comment on reports the Fleas will attempt to snuff out the Olympic flame.Tibetan Fleas,renowed for their loyality,will, in what would be the biggest mass suicide of Fleas ever recorded,throw themselves onto the Olympic flame, thereby depriving it of Oxygen and hopefully extinguishing the flame.



Chienese troops were recently spotted rounding up 100's of stray Dogs in and around Beijing,at first observers feared the worst,that was until the Tibetan Flea plan surfaced. Several Chinese factories previously manufacturing talcum powder are now solely engaged in the production of flea powder,a fact which has added credibilty to the Flea rumours coming out of Tibet.

OFFENSIVE BABY BIBS-WOULD YOU BUY THESE FOR YOUR BABY



http://www.cafepress.com/littlenumptees.162079671

Well would you?

It's funny and offensive, epecially to Dyslexics, maybe wearing this Baby Bib will make your child Dyslexic too!!

On the other hand if you've a little Baby Boy maybe he'll get lucky wearing this funny Baby Bib and end up with a very big clock!

I reckon if Baby could speak Baby would love a funny,rude,offensive bib instead of one with a little fluffy Kittten or cute fat Penguin on it.

Tuesday 13 May 2008

HOW IMPORTANT IS BEER TO YOU?


DARWIN, Australia — An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car's floor, police said today.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was "shocked and appalled" when he pulled over the unregistered car Friday in the central Australian town of Alice Springs.The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car's floor."The child was sitting in the lump in the center, unrestrained,"Burnett told reporters today."I haven't ever seen something like this before," he said.

"This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child."The driver was fined 750 Australian dollars — about $710 — for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and for failing to ensure a child was wearing a safety belt.

I've always liked Aussies.Kids know your place when Dad says it's not in the front,and if you don't get your way don't start wailing like a castrated Pig or you'll be in the boot or worse..................

Monday 12 May 2008

CREDIT CRUNCH-WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO FEED THE KIDS?



ARE HIGHER GAS PRICES JUST A PLOY TO GET FAT ASS AMERICANS AND LARD ARSED EUROPEANS TO EAT LESS?



Some folk reckon Gas in the USA will hit $10 a gallon in the not too distant future.Petrol in the UK is already a fiver a gallon near as dammit and as Gas or Petrol prices rise so to do food prices.So,unless you're income is rising in line with UK food inflation,which according to the Daily Mail is averaging 19% per annum what are you going to do?




Why aren't people up in arms and striking? In the 70's Gordon Brown would have been out on his arse by now,inflation 2%, yeah and I'm the Pope's lovechild. Do they think the UK population has lost it's stomach for a fight? Where are all of Britains Pensioners,they should be blockading the Motorways on their Mobility Scooters not mowing me down in Sainsburys, I mean those poor bastards pensions go up in line with inflation. Oh, Mr Brown how convenient our inflation is 2%. Who's doing the books Mr Brown, Ken bloody Dodd?




It can only be a matter of time before we start having to eat the Hamster or next doors Cat......mmm Cat. I've always hated that little bastard anyway. I thought a Cat was supposed to bury its poo? This lazy bastard just dumps on the lawn then wanders up the garden and sprays up my Broad Beans.




I reckon this Christmas,a nice curry sauce, a glass of Chablis and just tell the kids we're having an alternative Christmas meal,i mean 4 legs instead of 2,Roland you're history.There's another thing calling your Cat bloody Roland,Roland was a Rat you idiots.Right off for a bevvy, now that's even more expensive than Petrol. £2.75 a pint nearly £24 a gallon;could be time for the stocking on my head again,the old sawnoff out the loft and down the Post Office at this rate.
Hammy stop looking at me like that.............................

Saturday 10 May 2008

ARE YOU PRACTISING SAFE SEX?


ARE YOU PRACTISING SAFE SEX?


Yes you heard me are you practising safe sex? Wear a rubber,a Johnny,a condom and prevent accidents worse than Chenobyl-those poor bastards had no choice.


A worrying trend,especially in America, is that people are having Cosmetic Surgery to hide their "defects" thereby making them irresistible to the opposite sex. (same sex attraction doesn't affect the next bit) .These silicone love machines now breed faster than a Rabbit on coke and produce many offspring.


However,a major problem is the fact the offspring will still have the "ugly gene",the "fat arse gene",the "skippy pouch gene" etc and so the cycle will go on until.................

WORLD FOOD SHORTGAGE-SHOULD WE START SHOOTING THE OBESE?


Yep the world needs bigger chairs.


You think we've a food shortage now! Just imagine trying to watch a Baseball or Footy Game next to this,the extra wood needed to make stronger beds,the extra deforestation and then the Global Warming,oh the Global Warming.Nah,second thoughts that's just a myth to get us to buy flood insurance and welly boots,bit like that God one to make you buy Bibles.


Seeing this fat arse reminds me of the first rule of camping or hiking in Bear Country,always take the fat slow kid. Spoof fat kid loves cake shirts


Wednesday 7 May 2008

Santa's dead-santa doesn't exist T shirts-Madeleine McCann dead?


START AS WE MEAN TO GO ON,EH.WARNING-READ NO FURTHER IF YOU SUPPORT KATE AND GERRY McCANN



Letting your child see a picture like the one above,is to me funny,to others it's offensive,especially the little seven year old who has somehow ended up on this site.That will teach you,you little nosey bastard you,telling your mom you're going upstairs to play on your xbox.




Do seven year olds still believe in the great man anyway? That's half the problem with kids to-day grow up too fast.I mean,we had the first traces of hairs on ya bollox and were shaving before your dad let it be known he was the fatman who emptied his sack on Christmas Eve.




And while we're on the subject of offensive and kids,what I find totally offensive are those two pompous so called parents the McCanns.Santa's dead pales into insignificance when you look at what they did.No doubt others will not agree and will say "they've suffered too much",no they haven't, poor Madeleine has,they were totally irresponsible and selfish and a poor little tot has had to suffer.




A most offensive T-Shirt (to some) I spotted sums my feelings up on this matter,so much so i've ordered it,but don't tell the missus or my mom,they're in the "suffered enough" camp!http://www.cafepress.com/numptees050505.261281437


Oh and here's another bad taste T- shirt to put in little Johnny's Christmas stocking!